I'm going to lay it all on the table this week, If you were to ask me if I put in my 100% in this week I could not in good conscience tell you I did. The beginning of this week started off just as hard as it did the last week, we planned all these member present lessons and saw a lot of sacrifice from members to come and miracles to get them there but it all came down to agency of the investigator wither or not to let us in their home while we all stood on their door step gladly waiting for them to let us in.
These repeated disappointments and seemly unthoughtful uses of agency of canceling appointments that we traveled hours to get to and seemingly wasted the Lords time lead me to become discouraged. This discouragement bled into my missionary work that was reflected in our weekly numbers, as we reported to our district leader an experienced elder from Uganda, he gave us a righteous rebuking.He basically said we let him down, the Assistants to the President, and our Mission President down. This humbled me to the core and made me self assess and took my issues to the scriptures this morning.
I was reading in Alma 48-50 where it talks about captain Moroni and his preparations and conflicts with the Lamanites. The spirit answered one of my life long questions that I have had prodding at my mind. My question was about Moroni's "perfect understanding" referenced in Alma 48:11. I wondered how any mortal can have anything truly perfect, because everyone one on this earth excluding Christ is by definition imperfect. But to further explain how I found my answer, in these chapters on how Moroni prepares his people against the Lamanites is a reflection of how he prepares himself against the temptations of the advisory.
My epiphany was that his "perfect knowledge" was a perfect knowledge of himself on his own doubts and weaknesses and how the adversary would attack those weaknesses, along how he knew that "through Christ (his) weaknesses can be made strong"-either 12:6. He had a "perfect understanding" on how he can improve not only himself through Christ but his people that he swore to protect.
I will say I have had one accomplishment this week and it was that I improved myself through scripture study and prayer, now I need to apply those talents I attained on the mission and the talents I attained before to progress my area.
I will say the Lord gave me one super power which I know my mother can testify of because she was there beside me as I did it. I was not the best student in school, but my super power was that I can take what ever grade I had in that class wither it be a B- of a F- (which is possible, because I have received that grade more than once) and I was able to take that grade and some how magically turn it into an A by the end of the week. I thought I would leave that "super power" behind when I left on my mission, but I realized that that would make me an unprofitable servant.
That super power of being able to do mountains of "unfinished" work just needs to be reprogrammed into doing mountains of "undone work". That same rushed but effective work ethic needs to be applied into the missionary work. I have not been using all the resources the lord has given me to do his fathers will. In an email I received from a friend she shared a scripture from Jacob 6 it says "O be wise; what can I say more?". I know what the lord wants me to do and I know how he wants me to do it, nowI have to be wise and just do his will. Theses things I lay before you in the name of Jesus Christ amen.
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